i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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