You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
