so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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