oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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