Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
