those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
