ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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