did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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