Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
