I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
