Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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