He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
