i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
