I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
