Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
