so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
