Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had sex on a roof
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"