like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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