1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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