right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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