she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
