return my video game
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
