Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize