he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize