wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize