I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
