Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
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I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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