we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
