i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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