I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
