Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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