someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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