hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
