i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
