hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
