About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
