Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize