Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
