I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
