problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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