dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
