My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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