I accidentally burped into my bong.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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