ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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