my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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