His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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