respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize