weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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