is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Boobs speak an international language.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
