i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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