actually, I'm a sock model
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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