I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
