I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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