i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
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Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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