even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
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No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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