I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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