He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
