i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
