im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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