Pants 0. Shit 1.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
